The Modern Lady’s Guide to Fancy Hats, or OMG Hats! by Dasia

Dear readers, you have been enduring my single voice writing on Yearning for Wonderland for the better part of a year. But no more! Today, you are freed from the constraints of Anna writing, only to be plummeted to the delightful depths of Dasia’s wickedness.
For the first time ever, please welcome Dasia of Dasia Has a Blog (@awkwardoptimist) and comment with many bouquets of violets and kittens!


I’m so thrilled to be writing for Yearning For Wonderland! I hope to cast off the crass exterior of my Dasia Has A Blog voice to show my more sensitive, fancy side.

Warning: this post is more pictures than words. This is me practicing being demure and soft-spoken, and is in no way because I spent the whole afternoon googling fancy hats instead of actually writing stuff about them.
Oh hey guys you know what I yearn for? FANCY HATS OMG.
Ahem.
Right, I’m being demure now. Oh, how exquisitely charming I do find decorative headdresses! But as a modern lady, I get in such a huff about the … erm… torrid* problems I encounter with them!
They’re either too pokey…
Source: http://www.thisnext.com/tag/velvet-hat/
Or keep triggering metal detectors…
Source: http://www.hatsinbox.com/hat-review/lady-gaga%E2%80%99s-10-top-hats-weird-or-stylish.html
Or get me stuck in doorways!
Source: http://www.beautycent.com/tag/couture-hats
So to save myself and my fellow bitches (erm, excuse me, my ladyfolk-comrades!), kindly take to heart these Five Fancy Guidelines for Hexcellent** Hattery Practices:
  1. Your hat may be overly embellished if every picnic is interrupted by the sharp-beaked attacks of magpies and crows.

  1. Your hat may be too complicated if it could double as a wedding centerpiece, or if it compels you to join it in couple’s counseling.

  1. Your hat may be ahead of its time if it requires batteries or comes with a fog machine to instantly create romantic moments on deserted moors.

  1. Your hat may be a tad old-fashioned if it tells stories of walking to school barefoot through the snow.

  1. Your hat might possibly be too large if smaller hats begin to orbit your hat.
And now, for your viewing pleasure, (and also because I meant to make one Polyvore set for this post and got caught up and forgot to write anything else) have some illustrations of torrid haberdashery (that’s how they used to say fashion!porn, right?)
Every proper lady needs a statement hat…

Oh so fancy

Oh so fancy by justplainsandradee featuring fancy hats
But that statement hat needn’t change your centre of gravity. In fact, it could be both fuzzy and delicious.
Oh so comfy

Oh so comfy by justplainsandradee featuring earflap beanie hats

And here we have the epitome of a modern lady’s love affair with hats: simple, classy and with just a touch of fanciful whimsy…
Oh so classy

Oh so classy by justplainsandradee featuring a fedora hat
So go forth, modern ladies, and hattify yourselves! And remember, while vintage hats are both quirky and thrifty, heed this bonus tip that ladies have been following since the Regency Era:
If your hat has a possum living in it, it may be time to invest in a new hat. ***
* Still not entirely sure what this word means.
** Not really a word.
*** Have some extra fun with this post by starting it again and taking a shot of tequila every time you read the word HAT!

14 Comments

  1. Gayle Cochrane
    Jan 23, 2012

    Distracted by cupcake hat. Cute and very lady like post. I have a possum obsession, and have to say that alone would make me covet a hat more.

  2. ruanna3
    Jan 23, 2012

    Thanks, Gayle. Isn’t Dasia awesome? Being from Kentucky, I can’t say I long for a possum hat but the poufy tulle one is pretty spectacular!

    -Anna

  3. Janie Crouch
    Jan 23, 2012

    Dasia, you so crazy! Delightful, as always… :)

    • ruanna3
      Jan 23, 2012

      Thanks for coming by, Janie! Just so you know, Dasia fans are now to be known as Damnasiacs, after the syndrome of those who possess a defect in memory, esp. one resulting from pathological cause, such as brain damage or hysteria from reading one of Dasia’s blog entries.

      Cheers! 😉

      Anna, fellow Damnasiac

    • Dasia
      Jan 23, 2012

      Thanks Janie! And for the record, Anna came up with the Damnasiac thing all on her own – I didn’t pay her or anything xD

  4. Ali
    Jan 23, 2012

    But I want a hat with a possum in it! And you can’t stop me!

    • ruanna3
      Jan 23, 2012

      I dare not discourage you, other than recommend that the possum actually be dead before you put it on your hat. 😀

    • Dasia
      Jan 23, 2012

      But Ali, polite society does not allow for such wildlife-infested headgear! It’s the height of iniquity! Also it could be pretty bitey.

    • ruanna3
      Jan 23, 2012

      Getting your shots prior to the fashion debut would be key.

  5. Angie Richmond
    Jan 23, 2012

    Great post Dasia! When the Royal Wedding took place last year, I got up early to watch it for the hats! Well not JUST the hats, but they were pretty cool too!

    • ruanna3
      Jan 23, 2012

      They are architectural triumphs, aren’t they? Hope there are no stray gusts of wind, though! :O

  6. Stasia
    Jan 24, 2012

    Shit I’m drunk now…

    • Dasia
      Jan 24, 2012

      Ahahaha! Tequila! XD

  7. I happen to LOVE that Lady Pirate Hat…NOT for the faint of heart though! 😀

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