Blog Hop, or Terror in my Soul

You may notice even though I frequently refer to writing on this blog, I have not actually posted much writing. That is because it’s far more pleasant to muse idly on the beauteous creations of others than to expose your own tender work to the knives of the internet comment board.

However, I have decided this is a cowardly stance. In support of my awesome and amazing writing friends, Lillie McFerrin, Daniel Swensen, Angie Richmond and Angela Goff, I am entering my tiny, humble piece-ling into their Super Cool Blog Hop Contest. In 300 words or less, write a piece of flash fiction, poetry or song using the photo prompt below. You can go here for the details. Below is my wee entry. *covers eyes* Okay, now you can read it.


Hour of Light
She kept walking. The Wood wasn’t bright enough this time of night, so she thought – luminosity – and it steadily grew brighter. Time and again, she had told the trees to grow in straight lines, but they never listened. The dark trunks jutted from the ground in irregular clusters, silhouetted in the gloom. She trailed her hand over the flowertops, gently dotting dewed petals with her fingertips.  As she brushed past them, they sang along with the wind in a lonesome susurrus. She placed a finger to her lips and tasted the dew; it tasted of memories.
This was how she always walked in the Wood, towards the light. The starflowers grew so deep this time of year; they were already above her knee. Her bare feet grew cold as she squished through the grass, so she decided it was warmer than she thought. 
 
She took great breaths of the air, scented with dead and growing things. The sky was growing steadily lighter, for she knew it was the hour of light. Sometimes when she walked through the mist, she could not decide which way was forward and which was back. So she kept walking. Was there a time she had ever not walked in the Wood? She finally reached the hanging light bulb and reached up, up, up so carefully on her tippy-toes. She pulled the cord and the light went out.

35 Comments

  1. Lillie McFerrin
    Jan 25, 2012

    Ah! No reason to worry ever :)

    ‘it tasted of memories’ is an awesome line! Great job. It had a poetic flow that really drew me in. I love it!!!

    • Daniel Swensen
      Jan 25, 2012

      Yeah, I’m with Lillie, your worries are unjustified.

    • ruanna3
      Jan 25, 2012

      Thank you, Lillie! Your feedback is so appreciated. I’m sure my surge of nausea will pass 😉

    • Dee Solberg
      Feb 19, 2012

      “Scented with dead and growing things…” I can smell it…just as if I were there. Fantastic use of the senses!

  2. Jo-Anne (jtvancouver)
    Jan 25, 2012

    Your writing suits your blog and typeface. It is, as Lillie says, poetic. Loved the point of view, loved the story. Really beautiful Anna.

    • ruanna3
      Jan 25, 2012

      Oh, I am blushing! Thanks Jo-Anne. I hope you’ll enter the Blog Hop too!

  3. Daniel Swensen
    Jan 25, 2012

    I recently shared some of my own fiction on my blog as well, I know how nerve-wracking it can be. Thanks for sharing this with us.

    • ruanna3
      Jan 25, 2012

      Thank you, Daniel. Even though excellent writing (or lack of) always comes through in a blog entry, there is a peculiar vulnerability to fiction. I am rarely self-conscious (I act, for heaven’s sake!), but my writing is a shy point.

  4. J. A. Bennett
    Jan 25, 2012

    I love the vision I had with that last line. Great job!

  5. Bullish
    Jan 25, 2012

    Oh, so lovely. Luminosity. Tasted of memories. Scented with dread. Up, up,up. Tippy-toes. I love it! :)

  6. ruanna3
    Jan 25, 2012

    Thanks, Ruth! So glad you liked it. Tippy-toes is one of my favorite words. As is luminosity. Almost felt like cheating to use both 😉

  7. Gwen
    Jan 25, 2012

    Great poetry in your prose here. I especially liked the ‘tasted like memories’ line and I loved the details about her walking through the starflowers.

    • ruanna3
      Jan 26, 2012

      Thank you, Gwen! Tasted like memories seems to be a favorite, but it was one of those lines that just popped out without me even thinking about it. That’s how it works sometimes, I suppose.

  8. Donna B. McNicol
    Jan 26, 2012

    Never fear…you have the artist’s touch…loved it!

    • ruanna3
      Jan 26, 2012

      Very gracious of you, Donna. I was terrified because I usually edit for weeks. I wrote this one in a single 23 minute word war, edited it and then thought, “Here we go” and clicked the button :)

  9. David P. King
    Jan 26, 2012

    Excellent use of the senses! The atmosphere you created drew me in right away. Mysterious endings rock! :)

    • ruanna3
      Jan 26, 2012

      Thanks so much, David. I always try to create worlds that I would like to visit. Mystery always calls to me.

  10. Catherine Noble
    Jan 26, 2012

    What a beautiful piece of writing! :) I especially loved “She trailed her hand over the flowertops, gently dotting dewed petals with her fingertips.”

    I could feel my fingers trailing along the starflowers, as well as my toes squishing through the grass! Excellent :)

    • ruanna3
      Jan 27, 2012

      Thanks Catherine! I read your entry this morning and it really stayed with me. This Blog Hop is a super way to connect with other writers. I appreciate your feedback :)

  11. Sif
    Jan 27, 2012

    ‘The starflowers grew so deep this time of year.’ Lovely imagery, and a nice twist on the description!

    • ruanna3
      Jan 27, 2012

      I’m not even sure if starflowers are a real flower, but they sounded real to me in my writing brain, so I guess they are 😉

      Thanks for your kind words, Sif!

  12. Huntress
    Jan 27, 2012

    Absolutely breathtaking! Love your use of senses to give the story life and verve.

    Super

    • ruanna3
      Jan 30, 2012

      Thanks, Huntress. If I can see and hear and feel a scene, it doesn’t “breathe” for me. So glad you enjoyed it!

  13. Erin Ashby
    Jan 28, 2012

    I like this, I think it’s open to a lot of interpretation. Also really like the writing style. Very mysterious.

    • ruanna3
      Jan 30, 2012

      So kind of you, Erin. I tried to allow the reader to bring their own interpretation to the story. Is it a dream? A vision? Real or unreal? *cue mysterious music* 😉

  14. Louise
    Jan 29, 2012

    Beautifully done! Full of sensory imput & mystery…loved it!

    • ruanna3
      Jan 30, 2012

      I really appreciate your feedback, Louise. Thank you!

  15. McKenzie
    Jan 29, 2012

    Okay, ‘susurrus’ is my new favorite word.

    This is so so so beautiful.I love your writing style too! I hope you post more. :)

    • ruanna3
      Jan 30, 2012

      Oh thank you McKenzie. I love the word ‘susurrus’ because it is so evocative. I like your writing too. Come back and see me anytime :)

  16. Reading In Winter
    Jan 30, 2012

    I like it! Beautiful writing and a great atmosphere. I love the ‘Up up up,’ too. Great job! :)

    • ruanna3
      Feb 2, 2012

      So glad you made it to my blog! I certainly enjoy yours. Thanks for the nice comment! :)

  17. Tasha Seegmiller
    Jan 31, 2012

    Great imagery. I think you captured the mood very well. Great post – new follower :)

    • ruanna3
      Feb 2, 2012

      Thank you, Tasha! So honored to have you read my blog.

  18. J. Whitworth Hazzard
    Feb 1, 2012

    Very nice! Great imagery and tone. I even learned a new word: sussurus. :-)

    • ruanna3
      Feb 2, 2012

      One of my favorites! Sussurus just says what needs to be said 😉

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